I can’t even believe I’m typing this post! Not too long ago, I shared how I hadn’t enrolled Ella in preschool yet because I loved our time together, and it was really important to me to soak it all up while I can. The plan I had in mind was that she would start next fall when she was three, and that would give us the spring and summer together…and give me plenty of time to mentally prepare for her starting school. Funny how life and your plans always seems to work out differently that you thought in your head!
Over the Christmas break, when we were at the Christmas Eve service at church, I took her into the nursery to play during the sermon. It was a good test for both of us to see how she did, since this was where I plan to enroll her when she did start school. She walked right in and loved it so much she didn’t want to leave when it was time to go! It was a little “aha” moment for me to see her playing with other kids, other caretakers, and be totally cool with it. In the past, we had a part time nanny (love you, Mel) that would come over two days a week to help out when I needed to get work done, run errands, etc. So Ella has always had someone come take care of her, in her home, and I was fortunate enough to not have to go through the whole tear filled drop off experience. Maybe it’s because she was at home, in our safe bubble, with one on one care, but that made it so much easier for me to accept, and I am so grateful to our former nanny, Mel, who made that experience so wonderful and easy for all of us! This past Fall, Mel went on to teach at school so it’s been Ella and me all day every day while Nick is at kindergarten. I have cherished every single second….some days were a little tough, but mom’s are lying if they say every day is a joyous vacation with their kiddos. 😂 However, there are only so many days we can go and do fun activities, Target runs, and have Starbucks dates. There are still responsibilities around the house that need to be taken care of, my blog requires a lot of time and effort, and I started feeling really guilty on days I had to focus on those things, and she had to entertain herself. Trust me, she wasn’t fazed by it….just put on Frozen so she can have her performance in the living room and she was happy. But she deserves to have that time playing with other kids and being stimulated in ways that maybe I’m not doing. Once this idea came to me (literally as I was rocking her to sleep for nap one day), I texted the director of the school and they had ONE spot left! I took that as my sign to get in gear and just do it!
So here we are. She starts preschool tomorrow, and I’ve literally been a ball of nerves, hesitation, and the obvious sadness. She’s only going two days a week for three hours so it’s laughable that I even feel that way for such a short time she’ll be there, but I think it’s more the idea of it. That window of uninterrupted time with your baby is now changing, and you’re committing her to something and someone else every week that doesn’t include you, and that makes me sad! It also makes me so happy and excited for her because she is full of personality and loves playing with other kids her age so I know she is going to have the best time. Now I just need to figure out what the heck I’m going to do after I drop her off! Free time…without children…it’s a concept I’m not used to since it doesn’t happen often, but I’m sure it’s one I’m going to really start to love once we rip the initial band aid off and get that first day over with. Brunch and mimosas, anyone??!! 🤣
If you’re going through the same scenario or about to, just know you’re not alone if you’re feeling iffy about this transition. You know yourself and your baby better than anyone else, and when the time is right, you’ll know. That’s what happened with us, and no matter how sad I feel thinking about it at times, I’m also so excited for Ella to experience this new chapter of growth!
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